Is something wrong with me if everyone else is married?
Being single is not evidence that something is wrong with you. If comparison is pushing you toward a relationship you do not want, separate the wish for companionship from the fear of missing a deadline. Set goals based on how you want a relationship to feel and function.
Another engagement photo. Another family question. Another evening where you wonder whether you somehow missed an instruction everyone else received. Feeling behind can make dating feel like catching up instead of getting to know someone. You deserve to make relationship decisions with more room than that.
What this can look like in Utah
If marriage is especially visible in your Utah family, social group, or faith community, those reminders may be hard to escape. That describes a possible personal context, not every Utah community. Your friends’ milestones can matter to you without becoming deadlines for your own life.
Three steps to try
Name whose timeline you are following
Write down the age or milestone you think you have missed. Then ask where that expectation came from and whether it still reflects what you want. You can want marriage deeply without treating your present life as a waiting room.
Keep standards observable
Replace a perfect-partner checklist with behaviors that matter: honesty, consistent effort, respect for a no, and room for your goals. Stay open about preferences that are less important. Flexibility about a hobby is different from accepting disrespect.
Plan a life and a dating practice
Make one intentional dating step this week and one plan you would value whether or not you met someone. A class, a friendship, or a project does not need to justify itself as a way to attract a partner. Both parts of your life deserve attention.
“I’m open to a relationship, and I’m making thoughtful choices. I’ll share news when there is something I want to share.”
Your small step this week
After the next date, replace “Did they choose me?” with “Did I feel respected, curious, and able to be myself?” Write one observation for each question before deciding what comes next.
What progress can look like
- A clearer distinction between your goals and other people’s expectations.
- More deliberate decisions about which standards to keep.
- A dating routine that leaves room for a meaningful present life.
These are decision-making goals. They do not predict when you will meet a partner, and being single is not a condition that needs to be cured.
What working with Liz felt like
“Liz brings a unique perspective from her diverse background that offers insight into a healthier and more fulfilling way to approach dating. Not only did Liz help me reevaluate how I approach dating, but also how I approach myself in building meaningful relationships in general.”
— Jason
How Liz helped
Jason reports that Liz helped him reevaluate both his approach to dating and how he approached himself. That account supports the value he found in reflection, without establishing that he shared every concern discussed in this issue.
A couple of common questions
Age can change your circumstances and priorities, but it does not establish a personal deadline for connection. Begin with the kind of partnership you want now and a realistic way to meet people.
A note worth passing along.
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The Dating Note combines cited research with practical coaching ideas. Studies describe the populations they examined, not a ranking of Utah’s dating problems. Client quotes come from Liz’s existing testimonials. Editorial images are AI-generated illustrations, not photographs of clients.
